DIAGNOSIS: Borderline Personality DisorderAnd a Touch of Egomania
by Michael Quigg | Friday, September 14, 2012
Mr. U.S... Soccer? Is that right?
How are you today?
I'm great! Couldn't be better.
Of course you are...
Sorry to have to meet you under such circumstances-
Wait, what circumstances?
-but we've studied you and believe we have come up with an explanation for the problems you've been having.
That's great Doc! Now I can go be my amazing self!
Well, actually, that's a big part of your problem.
You are not so much amazing, as you are someone with borderline personality disorder.
What?? Look Doc, I'm one of the best in the world!
Didn't you see that I just beat Mexico IN MEXICO? That was unprecedented!
AND I beat Italy too! IN ITALY!
While that is true, -oh, did I mention you have a touch of egomania as well?
Anyway, I feel the need to point out that you also recently lost to Paraguay and Panama and just lost to Jamaica, whom you have never beaten in Kingston.
Hey man, those Reggae Boyz are tough!
And, just between you and me, I think coach might have partaken in the, um, local culture before the game, if you-
Be that as it may, or may not be, Mr. Soccer, the fact remains that your confidence and swagger, if you will, far exceed your actual skill.
I know it's a tough thing to accept, but acceptance is an important step to getting better-
But I'm already one of the best Doc! A couple breaks and I’d b-
-for now I'm going to give you something to try to get you through World Cup qualifying but it's just a quick fix.
There is still an astronomical amount of work to do.
Are you ready for that Mr. U.S. Soccer?